I sat outside on the front deck, which overlooks Main Street, but still feels like you are at a family picnic. Acorns were dropping all around, and the feel of fall was in the air. Unfortunately, as soon as the food came out, so did the flies. By the end of the meal, there must have been 6-8 of them swarming around our plates.

I ordered the jumbo BBQ pork sandwich, with a fried ear of corn, and a cup of Brunswick Stew. As much as I really wanted to love the food, the best I can truly say is that it was “just OK.” The sandwich was huge – I couldn’t eat but about 2/3 of it. But, there was very little flavor (aside from the sauce on top of it). No smokiness. No saltiness. No vinegar or cayenne pepper. No hickory. Just plain.

The fried corn was pretty solid, and according to the server, is their most popular side item. The Brunswick stew was decent, but nothing special. Pretty standard fare.

For the sandwich, two sides, and a cute little Mason jar of sweet tea, the total was $10.43 (including tax). It’s a fair price, but just not sure the food was good enough for me to justify a return visit. We’ll see.

I also noted that parking is a major issue. Be prepared to fight for parking if you go at a busy time. And, there’s not a direct pull-in off of Main Street – which will likely lead to traffic jams in the lot. Just giving you fair warning.

The location is great, the porch is very nice (but the flies are brutal), and the food I had was just average. I give it a C.

Kentucky Oatmeal Spice Cake, Horseradish Grill – Atlanta, GA – This cake is served warm and topped with homemade caramel ice cream.  A few years ago, I was able to dig up the recipe. I gave it to my wife’s grandmother, who makes it for my birthday each year.  I substitute Dulce de Leche ice cream for caramel, and it’s AMAZING!!

Chocolate Chip Cannoli, Mike’s Pastry – Boston, MA – You truly have not had amazing cannoli until you have been to Mike’s on the North End of Boston. Located along the Freedom Trail, this place is covered up with customers all day long – for good reason. I just looked at their web site, and my mouth is watering. Holy Cannoli!

Shark Fin Pie, Mitchell’s Fish Market – Multiple Locations – I could not believe how huge this slice of pie was when it came out (see photo).  Our family of four couldn’t eat all of it.  And, that was a shame because it was incredible!  As you may have guessed, it’s shaped like a shark fin – and is made of butter fudge ice cream, honey roasted peanuts, a thick layer of peanut butter, and a plentiful Oreo cookie crust – drizzled in caramel and chocolate. And, even better: it only cost $6.50.

Fried Twinkie Sundae, Twisted Burger – Orlando, FL – This is one of the best places we’ve ever been!  The appetizers and burgers were terrific, and we just HAD to try the Fried Twinkie Sundae before we left.  They took two Twinkies, deep-fried them, then topped them with homemade vanilla ice cream, whipped cream, chocolate syrup, and a cherry. It’s as good as it sounds.

Smoke on the Water – This is a great place on the Historic West End known primarily for it’s BBQ items, such as Beer Butt Chicken, pulled pork, (incredible) baby back ribs, and beef brisket.  But, as solid as those carnivorous items are, the true find here are their side items.  The squash casserole – baked and smothered with cheese; sugar snap peas sprinkled with spices; rich and creamy mac and cheese; loaded potato cake – topped with crisp bacon crumbles and a drizzle of sour cream – and many more!  Clearly an “A” here.

The Chocolate Moose – This place serves all kinds of cupcakes and desserts, such as parfaits and “cake-pops” (round piece of cake covered in chocolate and served on a stick).  With it being opening night for the new Harry Potter movie, they were serving Butter Beer cupcakes. They were incredible!  A tad expensive ($2.75 per cupcake), but very good.  I’d give this a solid “B+.”

Grille 33 at the Channel – This is a cool little joint.  It’s located across from the Hyatt Regency on Main Street (where we’ll be holding the retreat).  On UrbanSpoon, it had a 93% “like” rating, which is outstanding.  And, after eating there, I can see why!  They specialize in burgers, and I had to try the signature “Stone Burger,” which is Angus beef stuffed with American cheese, and served on a warm grilled glazed donut (see picture).  The sweet potato fries were also delicious, and they serve homemade potato chips as well.  Great vibe, and amazing food.  Another “A” here.

Luna Rosa Gelato Cafe – Also highly recommended for it’s Italian delicacy – gelato – this cafe was a hit with our group. They serve sandwiches as well, but you cannot possibly go inside without trying the gelato.  They had probably 20 different flavors, and we must have sampled half of them!  You have to pay first, but once you hand over the dough, you can sample as many flavors as you like!  I ultimately ended up with one scoop each of Bananas Foster and Bailey’s Irish Creme. Will definitely be back!  Yet another “A.”

Trio – This is a family-owned brick oven Italian & pizza place, also on Main Street (everything is on Main Street – which is very nice).  We had eaten here a couple years ago on a visit, and decided to come back.  The pizzas are outstanding – I had the portabello mushroom pizza, which was terrific.  Amy had the   shrimp & roasted red pepper pesto, which was also very good.  The bread they bring out as an appetizer is unreal.  It is a warm, round loaf, sitting in a small pool of olive oil, and smothered with fresh grated Parmesan cheese.  I’d give it a solid “B.”

I cannot possibly make up for all the lost time, so for now I am posting a few of the best places I have eaten over the past several months.  I promise…I’ll try to do better to update this more frequently.  Without further ado…

Mountain Biscuits (Marietta, near Kennesaw Mountain): Ohhhhh the biscuits.  Whenever I eat here, I know people from Cartersville to Stockbridge can hear me moaning with every little bite.  The biscuits are incredible.  They are huge, fluffy, and oh so tasty!  Plus, this place is cheap!  In addition to the biscuit and the biscuit sandwiches (you can build your own with more than a dozen meats and toppings), you MUST try the Mountain Fries, as well as the Fried Biscuit.  Mountain Fries (pictured) are french fries topped with melted cheese, real bacon pieces, jalapenos, and a heap of smoked BBQ pork.  You can also have chili added on top. As for the fried biscuit, it’s like heaven.  It’s biscuit dough with a hole cut out in the middle, deep fried, then absolutely smothered in powdered sugar.  Think of it as a cross between a donut and a funnel cake.  Yeah…that’s right.

Jack’s New Yorker Deli (Marietta Square): I’ve eaten lunch here four times in the past year, and it never disappoints.  They must have 30 different sandwiches on the menu, and each one I have has been stellar.  Perhaps the best sandwich I have eaten was Jack’s Outlaw – Beef strip steak, pepperoni, salami, red onions and banana peppers, sauteed with hot sauce, topped with provolone cheese.  MmmmMmmmm.  It was only $8.49, and included a side item and a medium soft drink.  Not bad at all.  And, this place is always packed, so arrive early, and be prepared to scramble to find an open table!

Twisted Burger (Orlando/ near Universal Studios): As I often say, I love a good burger.  Well, this place may take the cake.  On our Spring Break trip, we went to Twisted Burger, and it’s amazing we didn’t end up in the Cardiac Care Unit with clogged arteries.  But, it’s worth it – I assure you!  Amy had the Maui Wowi Burger – Monterey Jack cheese, pineapple, chopped red onion, pickle chips, and Teriyaki sauce. Yum.  I was a little more adventurous and tried the famous Guilty Pleasure. It was a half-pounder stuffed with sliced turkey, pressed with cheddar and Swiss cheeses, Twisted sauce, and deep-fried in a tempura batter, and topped with powdered sugar.  Sound terrible? It was fantastic!  And, after all that, the four of us shared their renowned Fried Twinkie sundae.  You gotta go the next time you are in the Orlando area!!

Person A: “Hey, you wanna go to El Loco, or would you rather go to Los Amigo for lunch?

Person B: “Let’s go to Los Amigo. It’s closer. Besides, they’re all the same.”

I have to admit that at one point in my life, I probably believed the same thing.  But, I’ve been to enough of these Mexican restaurants now to know the difference between “good” and “typical” Mexican cuisine.

Here in the Acworth/ Kennesaw area, there are several Mexican restaurants.  Too many to name them all.  But, some that come to mind are La Cocina, La Parilla, El Nopal, Poblanos, Mexico Tipico, Los Reyes, Hidalgos, El Taco Azteca, Laredos, Las Palmas, and El Rodeo.

If you’re like me, you’ve eaten at all of them at one point or another.  Some (Hidalgo’s) I will never return to.  Others, I’ll go to if a group of people happen to go there.  And, a few, I would much prefer to dine at if I have my choice.  But, one thing is certain: they’re NOT all the same!

My favorites in the above list: La Cocina (Brookstone), Mexico Tipico (Cobb Pkwy near Planet Fitness), and Laredos (Old 41 at Barrett Pkwy in the Publix Shopping Center).

So, I’m interested to hear from you.  Which of the following is your favorite Mexican restaurant in the area?

1900 Park Fare – Located in the Grand Floridian Resort near Magic Kingdom, this is a character buffet.  We went for dinner on my wife’s birthday, and it is Cinderella and friends (wicked stepmother, step-sisters, and Prince Charming were also there). Food was marginal at best, and they seated us in an area tucked back off the main dining room, so we weren’t too happy about that.  Seeing the grounds of the Grand Floridian and surrounding courtyards was worth the visit, but I wouldn’t eat there again.  I’ve heard that breakfast is better, so maybe try that instead.  I only give it a C.

Boma – This is a huge buffet located in the Animal Kingdom Lodge (AKL).  The trip to the AKL alone is worth it, so you can walk around and see some of the animals that are featured on the Safari ride in the Animal Kingdom Park.  The restaurant itself was pretty good, but not exceptional.  Lots of variety – both meats and vegetable dishes, and desserts were plentiful.  Everyone will find something they like.  They even serve some traditional African dishes, for those who are more daring. Go before it gets dark, so you can see the animals outside before or after dinner.  I give it a B. 

Chef Mickey’s – This restaurant is located within the Contemporary Resort, one of the original resorts near the Magic Kingdom.  This is a buffet with several of the big-time Disney characters: Mickey, Minnie, Goofy, Pluto, and Donald.  This is one of the most difficult reservations to land because of it’s popularity.  It’s also cool to watch the monorail fly through the restaurant while you are eating.  Food is pretty decent, but since it’s a buffet, you don’t spend a whole lot of time in conversation.  Plus, you are constantly on the look-out for the characters coming by your table for photos and autographs. We did the breakfast, and I’d probably do it again.  But, it’s rather expensive, so be prepared to shell out some moolah. I give it a B+.

‘Ohana – Located on the second floor of the Polynesian Resort near Magic Kingdom, this restaurant has gained a massive following over the past couple years.  Breakfast includes characters (Lilo, Stitch, Mickey, Pluto), and is served family-style.  That is great, considering you never have to get up from your seat!  The food is oustanding – Friendship Bread, fresh fruit, Mickey Waffles, pastries, eggs, sausage, bacon – and they’ll keep bringing you more food until you explode!  Lunch and dinner are not character experiences, but the meal is still exceptional and worth the trip.  We ate there for dinner, and they brought out homemade coconut bread, salad, grilled jumbo shrimp, honey BBQ wings, noodles, sauteed broccoli, grilled chicken, grilled pork chops, and steak tips.  If that wasn’t enough, they served Bananas Foster Bread Pudding with caramel sauce for dessert.  Both meals earn an A+!

You can always make Advanced Dining Reservations online HERE beginning 180 days prior to your visit.  Disney is offering a “Free Dining Promotion” for select dates through September 2011, so you may want to check into that.  If you have kids over the age of 9, the Free Dining Plan promotion is well worth it (out of pocket price for the dining plan is $42+ per day)!

We were not disappointed!  This is a dive for sure.  It’s in a small building on the right-hand side of the road, if you are taking Church Street Extension from 41 toward the Marietta Square.  When we entered, we noticed there was little (or no) air conditioning in the place, and box fans and oscillating fans all over the place.  I was a little concerned, given it was 93 degrees outside, but I wasn’t deterred.

We stepped up to the counter, and read the simple menu.  Essentially, there are four burgers on the menu: the Jake Burger, the Jake Deluxe, Jake’s L’il Daddy, and Jake’s Big Daddy (pictured).  All are served on grilled Texas Toast, and the meat is fresh – they make the patties right in front of you and slap them on the grill.  I ordered the Jake Deluxe, which is a “quarter pound of fresh grilled ground chuck served on buttered and grilled Texas Toast with a run through the garden.”  It was $3.05 and I added cheese for 50 cents more.

Amy ordered the Jake’s L’il Daddy, which is a “quarter pound of fresh grilled ground chuck served on buttered and grilled Texas Toast with a run through the garden plus a lil special surprise -  Sloppy Jimmy added for that over the top burger experience.”  We asked what “Sloppy Jimmy” was, and were told that it was a unique concoction made with Chorizo sausage (pork and paprika).  Lemme tell you – this burger was incredible.  The flavor was amazing, and so juicy.

Our family of four each got a burger and shared an order of fries and onion rings, and we only spent $20.  You can’t beat that!

I cannot wait to go back and clog my arteries just a little more.

By the way, this place also serves breakfast, and the biscuits are supposed to be “slap yo mama” good. It’s open Monday-Saturday from 6 a.m. – 2 p.m.

Hotel – We stayed at the Chattanooga Marriott at the Convention Center.  The hotel was very nice, and was in a convenient location.  Parking wasn’t fun, and we had to pay $10/night, but the hotel had nice rooms, as well as an outdoor pool for the kids. I’d probably give it a B- grade, but we got a great group rate, so can’t complain much.

Cheeburger Cheeburger – This is a cool little hamburger joint down near the TN Aquarium.  We got there at 1:40 p.m. and still had to wait 20 minutes for a table, so it’s a popular place.  Has kind of a retro feel, but not quite the nostalgia of a true 50′s diner.  From what I am told, they have awesome milkshakes.  But, we had plans for ice cream already, so I had to forego the milkshake for a mixed soda.  Basically, you pick a soda from the fountain, and then you pick a flavor.  I chose Green Apple Sprite.  Pretty good, actually.  But, the burger is what I need to talk about.  You can get a 1/3 lb., 1/2 lb., 3/4 lb., or full pound.  I got the 1/2 lb. burger, which was topped with cole slaw, guacamole, mayo, and cheese. Sounds gross, but tastes incredible! I want to go back and try peanut butter on my next burger.  A- (just a bit noisy and cramped)

Clumpies Ice Cream – Located across the river from the aquarium near Coolidge Park, this ice cream joint is one of the best!  I got the Black Forest ice cream in a freshly made waffle cone.  Amazing.  The chocolate ice cream and juicy cherries hit the spot. And, at Clumpies, they don’t charge by the scoop.  They charge by the ounce.  I was worried it was going to be very expensive, but it was only around $11 for the four of us. A

Southern Star – This is not your traditional “meat ‘n’ three,” but the chalkboard specials in this place are just that.  You select the meat you want, along with three veggies/sides.  I ordered the catfish, but I honestly cannot remember now what sides I ordered.  But, the food was very good.  And, reasonably priced to boot!  The daily “meat & three” special is always $9.95, and you get a HEAP of food.  B

Sugar’s Ribs – I have passed this joint on I-24 many times as I passed through Chattanooga.  It sits on a hillside just off 15th Avenue, about five minutes from downtown.  I ordered a pulled pork sandwich, and also had an order of three BBQ chicken legs, along with a side of grilled onions & grilled okra.  First, the BBQ chicken fell off the bone – very juicy and tender, and melted in your mouth.  But, there wasn’t much meat on the bones.  The big surprise was the grilled okra and onions.  It was “slap yo mama” good, and so full of flavor!  By the time I got to the pulled pork sandwich, I was about full.  The pork was very tasty, but I don’t know that it was anything to write home about.  I was a little disappointed in the prices.  It’s a little on the expensive side, in my opinion, and everything is a la carte (and it adds up).  Still, it’s worth the trip.  And, if you have kids,  let them order an ear of corn on the cob, and let them hand-feed whatever they don’t eat to the goats outside.  B-

Aretha Frankenstein’s – I asked the hotel clerk where we could get a great breakfast.  She didn’t hesitate.  She said the local favorite was “Aretha’s,” which is across the river on Tremont Street, in an older residential area.  The place is very homey at first glance, but when you get closer, you see exactly how unique it is.  There’s a wrap-around porch that overlooks an outdoor courtyard.  Guests can sit and eat on the porch railing (like we did), inside the restaurant – which looks like a funky bar, or in the courtyard.  The place was packed when we arrived, but we only had to wait a couple minutes to be seated on four comfy stools on the porch.  Amy ordered the Fat Stack (3) of Insanely Great Pancakes with blueberries, and I ordered the shrimp & cheese omelet. Both were amazing!  Much more I could say, but I must move on.  Go check it out!   A+

Tony’s Pasta & Trattoria – This gem is sorta hidden within the Bluffview Art District, just up the hill from the TN Aquarium.  We read that this was the best reasonably-priced Italian restaurant in Chattanooga, and that is very accurate!  The warm bread they brought out was sensational, but was made even better by the dipping sauce, which was a combination of olive oil and shredded cheeses. The calamari and bruschetta were so-so, but not great.  The pasta dish I ordered was fantastic – Chicken Tetrazzini,  one of their specialties!  I’d definitely recommend this place.  A-

Rembrandt’s Coffee House – After dinner, we walked right next door to a quaint coffee house, which also happens to make freshly baked goodies.  Their web site says it best:
Inside a beautiful French stucco you will discover the culinary treasure of Rembrandt’s Coffee House. This European style café has a great selection of fresh coffees, breads, chocolates and pastries.
We ordered several items – many of which we took home with us.  Cookies and truffles were amazing, but the best item was probably the coconut rum ball. Wow!  They have a GREAT outdoor patio that offers great views of the city.  This is another must-do in Chattanooga!  A

I have been to the Big Shanty Smokehouse twice before, but I don’t think I gave it a fair shake.  I always tried to order the cheapest things on the menu – no surprise to those of you who know how much of a tightwad I am.

But, this time I was going for quality.  I wanted to sample the best items on the menu.  After all, this place was recently voted the #1 Barbecue restaurant in Atlanta by urbanspoon.com.

I decided to go with the chopped pork platter with a side of smoked corn on the cob (yes – smoked!), baked beans, and two “killer” ribs for good measure.  As I was paying, I noticed they had some pre-sliced coconut cake at the counter.  I asked, “How much for a slice?”  They told me $3.10.  I asked, “Is it worth it,” and they told me it was an award-winning recipe.

So, let’s start with the pork and sides.  The pork was solid.  Well, it was actually chopped, but it was outstanding.  It was smoky and tender, and it was served with sauce on the side, so I could add as little or as much as I wanted.  Some of the outside pieces were a little crisp, which I truly enjoyed (outside chopped always has the best flavor).  The corn was unique.  Very difficult to describe, it was smoky and came off the cob easily.  The beans were also different.  Instead of the traditional baked pinto beans, they were a mixture of pinto beans and black beans, with maybe even a few black-eyed peas thrown in.  Very flavorful.

Now for the ribs.  I realize now why these are called “killer ribs.”  They are quite possibly the best country-style ribs I have ever eaten.  The meat was so tender, and just melted in my mouth.  And, there was just enough fat to give that extra flavor, but not so much that it squished when you bit into them. In all honesty, I’d just go with a half-rack of ribs next time.  They were THAT good.

To top it off, me and a buddy shared the slice of coconut cake.  It was two layers, and was lathered in a rich, white buttercream icing and topped with shave coconut.  The cake itself was SO moist, both of us were moaning with each bite – which I now realize may not have been a great thing, since we were sharing this dessert…but we didn’t share a fork!!

When you’re in the mood for Q, take it to Big Shanty Smokehouse.  Get the ribs, and if they have the coconut cake, you gotta get a slice.  And, if you are a dude, maybe get your own slice, so you don’t draw odd glances when you moan in delight.

There’s a little more character inside the restaurant than many Mexican restaurants around, but that’s about the only positive thing I can say.  The prices or grossly over-inflated.  A small cup of plain cheese dip was $4.75. One regular taco was $2.75. Kids’ meals don’t include a beverage, and the meals are $5+.  Combination dinners that run around $7 at most Mexican places are $10-11 at Hidalgo’s.

Now, with those prices, one would expect fantastic food.  Not the case here.  In fact, I’d say it’s among the worst as far as the food.  I ordered the Burrito Mexicano, which is a burrito stuffed with pork and shredded cheese, and topped with cheese sauce, lettuce, tomato, and guacamole.  It had NO flavor – just spice.  The guacamole was awful, and the pork was virtually tasteless.

Amy ordered the steak fajita quesadilla, and she said hers wasn’t good either.  She said there wasn’t any flavor.  Even the kids had a tough time eating their food.

This meal left a bad taste in my mouth.  In more ways than one.